Enough is enough! The crew has been meaning to blog about the past week of our lives. It was incredible. It must be made public. We were going to try and blog each day but it got difficult with hangovers and 80 degree weather. I'm going to do my BEST to summarize the week and hopefully the other crew members will contribute their own perspectives...
THURSDAY:
I arrived!!! I think Palm Beach missed me. MK x2 got in around midnight or so and I was already passed out from partying the night before bummer.
FRIDAY: MK x 2 and I bopped around in down town PB aka the land of many Bentleys. We went to the beach club around noonish to lay out and drank some margs. We had to pick up Brauch, Curls and C-Murf so we took road margs and got them. Once the crew was assembled, we hung out and went to dinner at the Land of Many Beers (aka yardhouse.) We got a couple of goblets, some 10-pints, some delish nom and got kinda drunk. We went home and lost a few crew members (C-murf and Brauch) but the rest of us ventured out to Bradley's on Chlamydia street (Clematis St.) Guess what? They had BEER PONG! We got on the table, and held it the whole night. MKM and I met some hotties. One guy went to high school with a friend of mine from home. MK found another Ken, which rocked. MKK and Curls left early, got lost and had to come back to pick MKM and I back up because well, we kind of got ditched. Whatever.
SATURDAY: Hung out during the day.. whatev. We assembled a CAR BAR!! It was awesome. We went to Nick and Nora's for dinner (Nick and Jonnies) and our waitress acted as though she would rather insert pins under her fingernails than serve us. Whatever. After our late dinner, we went back to Bradley's for another rowdy night. We carbar-ed in a parking lot where we witnessed a prostitute doing bumps and numbies. It was awesome and reminded us of a dear friend from school. Bradley's was a lot more crowded than the night before, dance floor and everything. They played AWESOME music too. (THEY PLAYED DAZZEY DUKS BY DUICE 4 TIMES) We met some really nice guys at the outdoor bar and chatted it up with them for awhile. Then we moved inside and witnessed the "Booty-shaking contest." HOLY SHIT I have never seen such trash in my life. One homegirl had her man, (or a random, who knows) rubbing her ass and wiping sweat off her face the whole time. I guess you can really work up a sweat crab walking on a bar. Yikes so after watching the contest, I figured out that I am white and I was not made to move like that. I then asked a bartender if I could have a "White-Girl Dance Contest" and he reluctantly said sure... so I hopped up on the bar and dragged c-murf up with me! I pulled out some of my signiture moves (fist pump, clueless, etc) and I won. When I got off the bar, the crew met the Boaters (Will, Simba, Brian and Linger.) They became our friends for the next few nights. We quickly made a friendship circle to "New York, New York" and then Bradleys closed and we got kicked out. We annoyed everyone we could find by singing multiple NFL cheers, "GO IRISH, BEAT SOBER," and the lyrics to our new favorite song, "I'm on a BOAT."
SUNDAY: Hang-over breakfast at Testa's. That place is way famous. We spent the day kickin' in the pool, doing flips and shit. C-murf has a great whale jump but Brauch takes the mother fucking cake when it comes to pool tricks. While in the pool, a plane flew over with a message that said "Reggae Band at Waterway Cafe Tonight." DONE! we had a delish dinner at the beach club, (TREMENDOUS KEY LIME PIE) Then we headed out for the night. Well... waterway was a blackout. We went to the cabana as soon as we could, (which is where we found out later, "all the white people go.") After a marg there, we had had enough and ventured back to the land of many beers to get some goblets. The Boaters met up with us and we went to another bar called Snuggles, (The Snuggery.) This bar refused to serve Will since he was only 20. Everyone in there hated us as well. We kind of chugged beers and left, although we still wanted to party. The Boaters suggested an after-party and we couldn't say no!! I had to go as collateral in their car which was a blast. Well we raged and drank all of the boaters' beer by shotgunning. Then we drank some champagne. Some people went swimming. Those same people passed out. It got kind of late and we had to sleep at Boaters' house. It was fine except for the creepy late-night footrubbing and molesting I received from one Boater after I (not-so)kindly asked him not to touch me. We all woke up, laughed off the night and went to Paris, (our favorite breakfast place where the servers don't hate us!)
MONDAY: We were hungover. We made a gallon of Voodoo juice and drank almost all of it by the pool. We went to a Midnight dinner at Bradley's. Played some pong. Met some WEIRDOS who we're pretty sure were still in high school. We witnessed a girl our age make out with a 70-yr-old dude. Now that's just gross! We were a little out of it and only stayed out til 3.
TUESDAY: We weren't that hungover! At breakfast at Paris, we received another party fly-over message. This one said "Dr. FeelGood's- No Cover. Ladies drink free 8-Midnight." DDONE!!!! (We went to Dr. Feelgoods last year and deemed it, "The Fever of Palm Beach") Hung out in the pool/beach. Went to dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Went to the bar around 10 and got DRUUUUNK. We had piles of free drinks on our table! It was awesome. The Boaters showed up too! (The top tier of boaters because the other two left, good.) Don't really remember too much about Fever. Brauch MKK and I popped over to Bradley's for a round of pong with the freaks from the night before and SPRINTED out before the game was over. That rocked. The crew got in a fight on the way home. Whatever, we were laughing about it the next morning.
WEDNESDAY: Our last full day in Paradise. We went back to Testa's and this brunch was a lot less enjoyable. Probably because we were EXTREMELY hung-over rather than just being really hung-over. I definitely vommed in the bathroom. Sorry Testa's.... We took it REALLY easy after that and just kicked it by the pool. That night we had dinner at MKM's grandparents house. They are soo sweet and I love them. We got pretty rowdy and watched real world, (I fell asleep in the middle of it.)
THURSDAY: The crew (minus me) had a 7 am flight to chi-town. I drove them to the airport at 5 and then came home and went back to bed because I felt like shit. I went back to the airport around 11:30 and felt like hell mixed with death. I vommed in the airport in cleveland and my flight to south bend was hella delayed. When I finally got to SB, Brauch and Curls were there to pick me up! Holla! We met up with C-Murf at my place and watched 30 Rock, Eastbound and Down, and this movie called The Wackness.
FRIDAY: Niente de speciale. South Bend sucks.
SATURDAY: We woke up early to take the train into chi-town to party for st. patty's. This day was doomed from the start for me. C-Murf couldnt go because her eye was infected or some shit. I still didn't feel 100% but I def. didn't want to miss out on partying, so I went. We snuck some beers on the train (which was a huge mistake for me.) By the time we got to the city, I couldn't even breathe because my stomach hurt so bad. I ended up going to NorthWestern Memorial hospital. I got right into the ER thanks to some awesome connections. I also got a bodyguard- a friendly New Zealander/Yale graduate named James. Brauch stayed by my side as well, thank god. I had to give some blood, pee in a cup, drink two Barium smoothies, get a cat scan, take anti-biotics and I got shot up with a bunch of morphine, (at least I sort of got to party...) I had to stay over night and was released the next day since I was able to keep jello down. They diagnosed me with an epiploic appendagitis. Wtf? fml. Well I'm better now, except for the fact that I can't drink for TWO FUCKING WEEKS! Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. FML.
Top Three SBPB Jams:
I'm On a Boat- The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain
I'm In Miami Bitch- LMFAO
Beautiful- Akon
I'm not sorry, I like to party.
Meggle$
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